Blessings of Relationships

Relationships have its starting points. It may be what people wanted and there are those that people are stuck no matter what. For example, family relationships are non-negotiable and cannot pick and choose the family members you’ll like to have. Whether you like it or not, they are there for the long haul. Even in choosing your lifetime mate; the odds are that their relatives and family members that may not be suited for your taste. But it is part of the package for the rest of your life together.

However, there is always a hope in it especially when one applies the principles and guidelines setout in the Scriptures about relationship and its dynamics. Colossian 3:12-23, “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men” (ESV).

In these verses, one will find guidelines of relationship between one another as brethren in Christ; between wife towards their husband; husband towards their wife; children towards their parents; fathers towards their children; employees towards their employers; and employers towards their employees. Even dealing with enemies, the Scriptures provide guidelines as well, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. 'But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:43-45, ESV).

But most of all, God gave the ultimate guideline in pursuing a successful relationship with all of the above-mentioned groups, i.e., "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”

In other words, God has provided us all the necessary tools to make the most of every relationship we have whether favorable or unfavorable to us and the resulting effect can be either a blessing or temporary headache. But always remember that we were created to be in a relationship with different groups of people we will encounter in our lifetime. Therefore, we have no choice but to manage them all well for mutual benefit. Relationships can be compared with going in a supermarket with all the varieties of everything under one roof. There are different brands with differing qualities and the only way to know which one is to get it and try it. Except in the matter of every relationship, the “No Return, No Exchange and No Refund” rule is ever applicable. What do you think??? Let me know….

Attitude Adjustment

What will make this year different from last year’s is not changing the situation where you are in but an attitude adjustment that one currently has. It needs to be adjusted to see clearly, to speak better things, and to think positive thoughts. No one can afford to stay the same year in and year out. It is just plain boring! I believe that the most obvious benefit of each new day is to have a fresh start even when it might not seem so at the time. It is a blessing that cannot be affected by the prevailing mood of the day.

Here’s an illustration I come across to provide a clear point of view on how important it is for attitude to be adjusted correctly: Both the hummingbird and the vulture fly over deserts. All vultures see is rotting meat, because that is what they look for. They thrive on that diet. But hummingbirds ignore the smelly flesh of dead animals. Instead, they look for the colorful blossoms of desert plants. The vultures live on what was. They live on the past. They fill themselves with what is dead and gone. But hummingbirds live on what is. They seek new life. They fill themselves with freshness and life. Each bird finds what it is looking for. We all do[1].

Like the hummingbirds that seek new life and freshness, the Scriptures also encouraged us to become a new person and renew our mind as stated in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” There are two sets of attitude that we need to conform to: attitude affected by a worldly mindset and the spiritual mindset anchored in the Scriptures. Both can co-exist in the same attitude and personality. But which of the two is most dominant that causes one to act and think is what needs to be decided individually. I chose to abide by the godly attitudes taught by the Scriptures. To think and act based on God’s principles is a choice that anyone can make. It is not an easy task but workable with God’s help.

Know that our mind is such a beautiful and a scary part of our body especially when it is utilize to its fullest potential. That is why the Scriptures taught these timeless principles for everyday living: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

It is because a person's mental attitude has an almost unbelievable effect on his powers, both physical and psychological. The British psychiatrist, J.A. Hadfield, gives a striking illustration of this fact in his booklet, The Psychology of Power. "I asked three people," he wrote, "to submit themselves to test the effect of mental suggestion on their strength, which was measured by gripping a dynamometer." They were to grip the dynamometer with all their strength under three different sets of conditions. First he tested them under normal conditions. The average grip was 101 pounds. Then he tested them after he had hypnotized them and told them that they were very weak. Their average grip this time was only 29 pounds! In the third test Dr. Hadfield told them under hypnosis that they were very strong. The average grip jumped to 142 pounds.[2]

If we desire to become successful in all aspects of our life, then we need to heed the advice given by God to Joshua after he took over the leadership from Moses. It was given to ensure that Joshua would become successful like Moses: “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” (Joshua 1:8 ESV) If it was a guarantee of God to Joshua then, I firmly believe that it is a guarantee also for anyone who will accept it today. What have you got to lose when there’s a lot to gain?

Let’s talk again!

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[1] Steve Goodier, Quote Magazine, in Reader's Digest, May, 1990.

[2] Bits & Pieces, May, 1991, p. 15.

On Finding the Suitable Fit

God was very clear on His observation between being single and being married as stated in Genesis 2:18, “Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." (ESV) It was His desire for every man and woman to find a “helper fit for one another.” This is a good proposition from the One that knows best. How can anyone disagree with it? As a Pastor, I have been a witness to many weddings that I myself have personally conducted and I would say that God has His way of creating the miracle of union from two to become one.

Having such a clear directive of God’s interest in our love life is such a comfort for all those that are becoming frustrated and despaired about their future. Marriage is such a wonderful adventure for anyone that dares to be in it. Although there is no magic formula for attaining success in marriage it can sure be found from God as the author of marriage. Remember that it was God Himself that officiated the first wedding in the Garden of Eden between the first man-Adam and the first woman-Eve.

Here’s a funny illustration to show a bit of restlessness that many women feels in finding the best husband in a fictitious “Husband Store”: A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. " Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

While it seems funny but there is a truth that stands out in this illustration: that finding a perfect husband or wife is mission impossible! Somebody said, “Marriage is a journey toward an unknown destination -- the discovery that people must share not only what they don't know about each other, but what they don't know about themselves.” Being married is a lifetime of discovery. Once I had the opportunity of praying for a wedding anniversary of 65 years of marriage. I asked their secret and the wife told me that she knows when to speak and to be silent. I think that that’s a great idea. When two people speak at the same time, misunderstanding usually arises out of it because no one listened to what the other was talking about. There are many things that can be written here but one thing is certain: if you are married now, live as if it was the day of your wedding. Why? Because if there was a time that both of you were truly in love, it was that day. It was one of the pillars of your married life. It was what made you “fit” for one another. And if you are still waiting for your turn to get married, wait patiently for God is preparing the one that will “fit” you. Remember that he or she is just out there waiting for you, too!

Let’s talk again!

Between Happiness and Joy

What makes you happy? How do we experience true joy? Contrary to secular thought, "joy" and "happiness" stand in stark contrast. Perhaps no one realized this more than nineteenth-century Chicago lawyer Horacio Spafford. Spafford took a fierce financial blow when his real estate holdings were mostly destroyed in the Chicago fire of 1871. Just a short time earlier, he had suffered the loss of his only son. Desperately needing a rest, Spafford and his family planned a vacation to Europe. Detained by business, Spafford sent his wife and four daughters ahead of him. During their voyage, however, their ship crashed and sank into the ocean depths. Upon safely reaching shore, Mrs. Spafford wired the somber news, "Saved alone." The Spafford's four daughters, like their son, were now lost. En route to joining his grieving wife, Spafford's ship crossed over the exact patch of water where his children had been lost. There, Spafford penned the words to a soulful hymn that has since become an enduring source of comfort, "It is Well with My Soul". At this time, Spafford was certainly not happy. He was suffering as a grieving father. However, his hardship did not overshadow his faith in God and joy in Christ Jesus. Happiness is determined by circumstances, but true joy is a gift from God at all times. If you are reeling from life's pain, bring your suffering to the Cross. There, God will turn your sorrow into dancing (Psalm 30:11).

Let me add that happiness is externally based while true joy is indeed a wonderful gift that God desires for everyone to experience. Whether we like it or not, life will always be filled with many undesirable events that leads to many sorrows. But to know that God provides a true joy even in the midst of all these things is what we have desired all along. If happiness is dependent on external things of life, then happiness will be relative to each person’s financial standing. It will mean that if you are affluent, more happiness??? Or less affluent equals no happiness??? I believe that this is not the case but genuine happiness is truly attained with Jesus and His promise of joy. You don’t have to look for it but to experience it by having a personal relationship with Jesus. Try it and see the difference it makes on one’s life.

C'mon and discover it....

First Things First

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember this story about a mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee. “A professor stood before his philosophy class with several items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly and the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full and the students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. "The sand is everything else -- the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. "The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Jesus gave us the Scripture to remember that when things in our life seems out of control, this is what we need to do: ”But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:33-34, ESV) This is a very simple command yet many are having a hard time following it. Sadly, this is often the case even with people who has strong belief in God. The logic of living life has been given to us: live each day! When we are preoccupied with what happened in the past and what will occur tomorrow, we miss the blessings of today. And after the day is over, nothing has been done significantly and can never be taken back again.

Keep our focus on what’s ahead for the day but planning for what’s going to happen tomorrow is a valid task. Just remember that every plan should be subject to change. Calendars are for reminders and should not become the map of our life. Also, make sure that our life will be dictated by what God will give us each day not by what we think should do. He only holds the future and nobody knows it better than Him, thus, the anchor of our life must be with Him alone. Everything and everyone else will change but NOT Him.

Jesus lived His life on earth and abided by what He taught. Even though He only lived for 33 ½ years, yet He fulfilled the purpose and the plan of God for His life on earth. No wasted time but fully maximized. In addition, here’s what the Scriptures described King David of Israel: “For when David had served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his fathers and his body decayed.” (Acts 13:36, NIV) Now, would you want to have the same legacy? Then, the decision is yours today to prioritize our life aligned with God’s Will, Way and Word.

Lets’ talk again!