Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Marriage is Designed as Companionship

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Debra Evans of Focus on the Family shared this insight about companionship, “Given the dictionary's definition of a companion as "somebody who accompanies you, spends time with you, or is a friend," do you currently see you and your husband companionably drawing together or separately drifting apart.” 

What does the Scripture say about it: “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18a, ESV). God recognized the simple fact of Adam’s need for companionship at the time. While every animal God created a pair, Adam’s pair is not found yet. Genesis 2:20 wrote, “The man gave names to all the livestock, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, no suitable helper was found.” However, it is not a permanent situation for Adam because God‘s plan was at work, “I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18b). The fact that God created the woman as a helper points to her supportive role to her husband. 

From this beginning, the various cycles in marriage as husband and wife are discovered perpetually as God designed it. 1. Wedding Day: It is a ceremony for the beginning of marriage as husband and wife. No longer two people but as one. 2. Family: Having children creates a family, becoming parents (father and mother) in addition to taking care of husband and wife status. 3. Empty Nest: After some time, children leave home while the relationship of the husband and wife remains. 4. Grandparents: They become grandparents (if children get married) in addition to being husband and wife. 

 From the above scenarios, marriage continues until the last day of each other’s breath. In the meantime, let me share two ways of securing companionship in marriage daily. Firstly, companionship in marriage is primarily strengthening friendship throughout the marriage years. C.S. Lewis said of friendship: "It is when we are doing things together that friendship springs up — painting, sailing ships, praying, philosophizing, and fighting shoulder to shoulder. Friends look in the same direction." How do we strengthen friendship in marriage? Become appreciative of your spouse whenever possible. Another is a constant encouragement and boosting one another’s capability. Remember that success is achieved mutually. Finally, avoiding power struggles and wresting control from the other. 

Companionship in marriage is about honouring one another throughout the marriage years. James Dobson provided this insight about how honouring one another works, “Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.” Here’s how the Scriptures addresses this application: Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). How does honouring one another works? It begins by cherishing what your spouse values before and during the marriage. Another valuable trait is discovering your mate's "love language" and learning to speak it. Finally, it is about maintaining a lifelong commitment wholeheartedly and filled with affection for one another. Someone said, “You invest in whatever it is that you esteem.” Also, the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word wholehearted as "marked by complete earnest commitment." 

Proverbs 18:22 declared a powerful truth to live by: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the LORD.” 

Marriage is not just about the number of years accumulated together. Most importantly, it is how by being together, overcame various challenges and achieved success with God’s help and guidance. When God is involved, anything is possible, and everything is achievable. 

Let’s talk again!