Genuine Friendship: Qualities to Discover

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A British publication once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of answers received were the following:

• "One who multiplies joys, divides grief, and whose honesty is inviolable."
• "One who understands our silence."
• "A volume of sympathy bound in cloth."
• "A watch that beats true for all time and never runs down."

The winning definition read: "A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out" (Bits & Pieces, July, 1991).

What characterizes genuine friendship? Proverbs 17:17 emphasized, “A friend loveth at all times.” There is an excellent illustration in the Scriptures of what how Proverbs described in the life of David and Jonathan. First, they honor one another when Jonathan gave David his military clothes to recognize David’s calling from God (1 Samuel 18:4). He wasn’t envious being the next in line to his father’s throne but yielded for his friend’s sake and followed God’s will. Second, they were loyal in defense of one another especially after King Saul ordered David killed. Jonathan defended David to his father and reminded him of his faithfulness to him in the past, including killing Goliath (1 Samuel 19:1-3). Finally, they freely express their emotions with one another as more than friends but brothers to protect one another no matter what (1 Samuel 20).

In David and Jonathan’s friendship, the Scripture provided additional guidelines for developing genuine friendships. There must be a covenant of love made: “Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:3). There must be a strong bond that exists: “But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24b). Lastly, there must be a sense of sacrifice willing to pay for one another: “Greater love has no man than this that a man lay down his life for friends” (John 15:13). Most importantly, somebody declared, “Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.”

Here’s something I found from The Youth's Evangelist on how to cement friendship:

• Take your friends as you find them —do not try to remove the motes you see in their eyes.
• Use the Golden Rule always.
• Do not talk about your "peeves."
• Remember that sincere and appreciative letters establish a pathway to the heart of a friend.
• Be a loyal, faithful friend. Remember that "none can be called deformed but unkind."
• Remember that souls are greater than vocabularies, so try to read the overtones in the written and spoken words of your friends.
• Cultivate a sense of humor.
• Do not expect the impossible; a wood thrush and a yardstick have little in common.
• Do not keep "tab" on the affairs of your friend.
•  Do not usurp your friend: be glad that he has other friends besides you.
• Never force a confidence, nor betray one reposed in you.
• Share your blessings with your friends.
• Don't be supersensitive. You would not willingly hurt a friend, so give your friend credit for having the same feeling toward you.
• Remember that to have a friend you must be one.
• Remember that a friend is one before whom you may think aloud, who understands your silences. 

At the end of the day, it would take two or more people fully determined to enter into genuine friendship with all the necessary ingredients of strengthening their relationship. However, given the inclination of individuals towards a letdown, the only secure relationship is one that endures no matter what because somebody said, “Prosperity begets friends, adversity proves them.” Knowing this fact, we should not be dissuaded in pursuing meaningful relationships as much as possible. People may fail us, but it is what makes every friendship becomes worthwhile. Never giving up on people must become the slogan to engage in because friendship is an investment of time, patience, sacrifice, and life.

If you are looking for an ideal friendship that you can enter with a guarantee of genuineness and faithfulness,  it can only be found in Jesus. He did the first half what it takes to develop a genuine friendship when He died on the cross for our sins. He is waiting for you to make the next move. Now, what would stop you from making Him, not just a friend but a Saviour as well? Come on and ask Him to come into your life. 

Let’s talk again!

In Dealing with Enemies

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Somebody said, “One of the greatest and most beautiful things man can do is to reconcile, and make friends, those who are enemies. Both Martin Luther and John Bunyan brought their great lives to a close in an attempt to reconcile men: Luther, two brothers; Bunyan, a father and a son. Likewise, if we may say it, the greatest and the most beautiful act of God is his working out a plan of reconciliation of man with God by the precious blood of Christ.”[1]

The Scriptures provided a clear pattern in dealing with our enemies, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the LORD will reward you” (Proverbs 25:21-22). Another stated, “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles” (Proverbs 24:17). In the New Testament, Jesus said, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). Paul emphasized, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” “On the contrary, "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:19-21). What do these verses mean? Albert Schweitzer, a French-German theologian, provided this simple explanation, “Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” However, Abraham Lincoln offered a brilliant perspective in dealing with his enemies, "Do I not destroy my enemies by making them my friends?"

Here are five godly ways to deal with an enemy according to Simone Williams shared in an article called The Praying Woman.com:[2]

1.     Avoid the conflict –Paul says in Romans 12:18: “If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” In other words – as Christians, we should avoid conflict once we can. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26: “be angry and sin not“.

2.     Do not hold a grudge. In Ephesians 4:31, it says: “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outbursts, and blasphemies, with all malice, be taken away from you.“ Instead, follow Benson’s Commentary; “Conquer your enemies with kindness and patience, which is the most glorious victory.”

3.     Do not try to get back at the person. We are not God! His word is clear in Romans 12:17,19:“Repay no one evil for evil. Commend what is honest in the sight of all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to God’s wrath, for it is written: “Vengeance is Mine. I will repay,” says the Lord”. Stop playing God and leave it alone. 

4.     Continue doing good to/for that person. Proverbs 25:21 says: ”If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for you will heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord will reward you.” Barnes' Notes on the Bible described how it is done, “Show them the loveliness of a better spirit; the power of kindness and benevolence; the value of an amiable, Christian attitude. So doing, you may disarm them of their rage, and be the means of bringing them to better minds.”

5.     Take the matter to God. The Bible says in Philippians 4:6-7:“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus“. When we take it to God, He will give us the grace to endure. He will give us the grace to do the four things (among others) mentioned above. He will give us the grace to continue shining for Him in the midst of enormous pressure.

Finally, we can learn from Nelson Mandela’s principle in dealing with enemies, “If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.”[3]

Let’s talk again!

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[1] Reconciliation Sermon Illustrations. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.moreillustrations.com/Illustrations/reconciliation.html

[2] Simone Williams, Five Godly Ways to Deal With Your Enemies - The Praying. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://theprayingwoman.com/2015/05/26/five-godly-ways-to-deal-with-an-enemy/

[3] ?If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to ... (n.d.). Retrieved from https://prezi.com/ol0gzzf5owdp/if-you-want-to-make-peace-with-your-enemy-you-hav

The Reality of God's Forgiveness

James Newton shared, a story about Thomas A. Edison: They were working on a crazy contraption called a "light bulb" and it took a whole team of men 24 straight hours to put just one together. The story goes that when Edison was finished with one light bulb, he gave it to a young boy helper, who nervously carried it up the stairs. Step by step he cautiously watched his hands, obviously frightened of dropping such a priceless piece of work. You've probably guessed what happened by now; the poor young fellow dropped the bulb at the top of the stairs. It took the entire team of men twenty-four more hours to make another bulb. Finally, tired and ready for a break, Edison was ready to have his bulb carried up the stairs. He gave it to the same young boy who dropped the first one. That's true

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forgiveness.

Luke recorded an excellent illustration of the depth and breadth of God’s forgiveness. He recorded, “Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.” “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly” (Luke 7:39-50, NIV).

The focus of the narrative was about a religious leader’s prejudice against a woman he called a “sinner.” With his remark, Jesus shared a parable to demonstrate the right attitude towards others. Moreover, it would expose the value and reality of God’s basis for forgiveness. Afterward, Jesus asked him a question and having understood the simple mathematical logic presented, his reply was affirmed. As Luke alluded,  “The debtor who loved the most was the one to whom most had been forgiven” (Luke 7:42). It was through this simple yet powerful story that hammered a sharp lesson for us to remember. It is because of God’s great love for us that we become "kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another."

Our imperfections must keep us anchored on God’s mercy and grace towards us as John Chervokas illustrated this truth this way: “Opaquing fluid is the magical liquid that covers over your errors, your typos, your unfortunate slip-ups. You brush on the liquid and start all over again--hopefully this time with no unfortunate slip-ups. Opaquing fluid is forgiveness, an obliteration of a goof with no telltale traces that the goof happened at all.” From this beautiful gadget, it exemplified the reality of God's forgiveness for humanity to learn. We need to be reminded that Jesus did it on the cross of Calvary when He asked God to forgive those that crucified Him. Would there be a worst situation than what Jesus went through? He died for our sins and forgave others so that we can do the same to those that offended us. Thus, through His forgiveness, our hearts will be flooded to forgive others as well. Roy Smith emphasized, “The art of forgiving is a spiritual grace every Christian should develop and because Jesus forgives, we must also forgive others.”

What are we waiting for? God’s forgiveness can become a powerful weapon in a vindictive-filled world. Furthermore, it is what would heal hearts chained and imprisoned by the anguish of lack of forgiveness. Unfortunately, our stubbornness and pride becomes a hindrance to release any level of forgiveness. However, when we seek God’s help, He is more than willing to flood us with the ability to do so. When we surrender to Him, He will set us free to release others and set us free in the process. Life is too short to carry any baggage filled with unforgiveness. Jesus said it best, “ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28-29).

Let’s talk again!

What is the Gospel Message?

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The Gospel message contains the most important message that everyone must hear and the apostle Paul provided the nucleus in 1 Corinthians 15:3, “Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures.” It is an essential message to be heard and proclaimed because “the strongest argument for the Gospel of Christ is the personal testimony of someone whose life has been changed by it” (Source Unknown). Proclaiming the Gospel is “to tell the good news, to tell thoroughly all the truth of the gospel, holding back nothing, but declaring 'the whole counsel of God” (Alfred Gibbs).

Also, there are four Greek words used in the New Testament to translate the word `preach' that Alfred Gibbs shared:

·      Kerusso—to proclaim, to herald. This is used of the public proclamation of the Gospel. (Matt. 11. 1; Mark 1. 4; 3. 14; 16. 20; Rom. 10. 15, etc.)

·      Euaggelizo—to tell good news. From this word are derived our terms—'evangel', 'evangelist', 'evangelize'. (Matt. 11. 5; Luke 4. 18; 7. 22; 1 Cor. 1. 17; Gal. 1. 8; Heb. 4. 2, etc.)

·      Kataggello—to tell thoroughly. (Acts 4. 2; 13. 38; 15. 36; Col. 1. 28)

·      Laleo—to talk. (Mark 2. 2; Acts 11. 19; 14. 25, etc.)

The common idea boils down to intentionally engaging people to seek an audience. Thus, it is essential that preachers must focus its message on the centrality of Christ and no one else. Somebody shared that when St. Bernard preached on one Sabbath, all the scholars came forward to praise him. The next Sabbath he preached Christ and all the sinners came up to thank him. In this example, every preacher must remember a simple motto and that is, “to be worthy of the thanks of sinners, not the praise of men, is the ambition of the true minister.”

Proclaiming the Gospel message is contained in this powerful statement: “Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures.” Looking at it closely, it begins by acknowledging that, “Christ died.” Ed Stetzer explained, “Jesus took the wrath of God for me, and he died. His body was placed in a tomb, and on the third day he came back from the dead, never to die again.” Before Jesus breathed His last, He shouted, “It is finished” to signify a new beginning (John 19:30). Next, it spoke of the reason for His death: “Christ died for our sins.” It is where Jesus became “the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world” (1 John 2:2). Ed Stetzer provided an incisive description: “The substitutionary atonement is at the heart of the gospel. This is where we see and understand the great love that God has for us, that the Son would allow the Father to place our sins on him and punish him in our place.”

Finally, it revealed the basis of His death: “Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures.” The Gospel message was woven from the tapestry of Old Testament promises and fulfilled in the New Testament to the last letter as Jesus said, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished” (Matthew 5:17-18).

When we share this statement of great importance, we open the door of opportunity for people to discover God’s love. Paul told Timothy, “Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel” (2 Timothy 1:10). It is our task to tell people about what Christ did and then let God do His work in their lives through the Holy Spirit’s power. Remember that our objective as servants of Christ in reaching people is to proclaim, “by this gospel you are saved.” In doing so, we align ourselves to what Paul told the Corinthian church, “We are therefore Christ's ambassadors” (2 Corinthians 5:2). Therefore, in putting everything in perspective, let’s consider what Oswald J. Smith highlighted, “The world does not need sermons; it needs a message.” God’s message must be proclaimed faithfully “in season and out of season” (2 Timothy 4:2).

Let’s talk again!

Sources:

Preaching Sermon Illustrations. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://moreillustrations.com/Illustrations/preaching%202.html

Preaching Sermon Illustrations. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://moreillustrations.com/Illustrations/preaching%201.html

Stetzer, E. (2015). What is the Gospel? A Look at 1 Corinthians 15:3-4. Christianity Today. Retrieved from http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2015/june/what-is-gospel.html

The Unexpected Hour of His Coming

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Pastor Doug Batchelor shared, “If we’re living lives of consistent surrender and obedience and looking for opportunities to share our faith, we won’t need to worry about the date on the calendar because we’ll be ready every day for the Lord’s coming!”

What’s the significance of the Lord’s coming for Christians and humanity? It is called the “Blessed Hope” of all believers in Jesus. It is the day that His promise to return fulfilled more than 2,000 years ago. Jesus provided specific admonition for all who looks forward to His return:

Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect (Matthew 24:42-44 ESV).

What does it mean to stay awake? Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary explained, “Our Lord's coming will be happy to those that shall be found ready, but very dreadful to those that are not.” Simply, an anticipation of something big is about to happen that cause oneself to become mindful at all times. Paul exhorted the Corinthian church in this manner, “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13). Peter added, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

Another attitude to adopt is to stay in constant readiness. Specifically, it is a reminder for believers of Jesus to be ready as Luke stressed, "Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning” (Luke 12:35).

Houses constructed of sun-dried bricks, mud, or loose stones, could be easily pierced and entered without forcing shuttered window or barred door. The significance of the parable is easy to see. The householder is the disciple of Christ, the thief is Christ himself, who comes on the unwatchful when and where they expect him not. ~Pulpit Commentary

Jim Bramlett posed an excellent question, “Does God gives clue?[1] Then, he enumerated the answers to this nagging issue:

·      He gave Noah advance notice of when the flood would be in Genesis 6 & 7.

·      He told Abraham how long the Israelites would be in Egypt in Genesis 15:13.

·      He revealed to many people the very day of Elijah's rapture in 2 Kings 2.

·      He told Jeremiah how long the Babylonian exile would be in Jeremiah 29:10.

·      He told Daniel exactly when Messiah would come the first time in Daniel 9:25-26.

So, what should be done while waiting for Jesus? Allow me to provide some recommendations for everyone to implement as we wait patiently and enthusiastically for Jesus’ coming anytime. First, recognize that God is always in control. Often when it seems nothing is happening is when things happen behind the scenes. Habakkuk emphasized, “Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it” (1:5 NLT). Next, renew your faith in God’s constant provision. Waiting is not incidental to faith. Waiting is the DNA of faith as the Psalmist’s exhorted, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14, ESV). Finally, redeem your time while waiting for Jesus. Times of uncertainty and doubt are useful periods in which we can draw into God, hone our skills and prepare for the time when that big day comes as James stressed, “let patience have her perfect work” (1:4).

At night as Dr. Horatius Bonar retired to rest, his last action ere he laid down to sleep was to draw aside the curtain and looking up into the starry heavens, say: "Perhaps tonight, Lord?" In the morning, as he arose, his first movement was to raise the blind, and looking out upon the gray dawn, remark: "Perhaps today, Lord?"—The Dawn.

Let’s talk again!

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[1] Jim Bramlett Retrieved from http://www1.cbn.com/biblestudy/signs-of-jesus%27-return