This is what the
Scriptures speak about it in Ephesians 4:26: “Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be
angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't
go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” (MSG)[1]
In order to understand how powerful anger is when
uncontrolled, let me share you a story I come across: This is a true story which happened
in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his
puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny
paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the
little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed
his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the
crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's
hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he
innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked,
"but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home
& committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet
or you wish to take revenge. Think first before you lose your
patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired. Broken bones &
hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference
between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater
than revenge. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the
actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
Let us keep in mind that we can never
attain to have self-control at all times. The Scriptures does not even prohibit
being angry. As a matter of fact, we are allowed except do not allow yourself
to sin with it. We can never take back what was spoken out of anger. There is a
prayer that we can apply found in Psalms 141:3 and it states, “Post a guard at my mouth, God, set a
watch at the door of my lips.” (MSG)[2]
Remember that when you pray this prayer, our teeth that stand as a guard will
bite an angry tongue.
What will be the best antidote in order to restrain
oneself towards anger and to avoid any damage as a result? Let ‘s heed what
James 1: 19 states, “Understand this, my
dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” (NLT)[3]
It is very important to know what constitutes our communication system. Let me
share what I have always discussed during
pre-marital counseling in the area of communication. I’ve discovered that our
communication system involves three major things and its percentages; 38 percent tone, 55 percent non-verbal and only 7 percent words. Therefore, when these things are considered carefully and
fully remembered, I believe that there will be moments of peace in any
conversation we will have with one another. The target plan is for an anger to be
controlled accordingly within the right parameters, but cannot be removed
altogether.
Therefore, communication is a process
and needs to be learned as a skill in order to have the best relationship in
all levels. Here’s another principle to remember to become a better communicator:
“A person who is angry on the right
grounds, against the right persons, in the right manner, at the right moment,
and for the right length of time deserves great praise.”
Having the right mindset and to follow
wholeheartedly what the Scriptures have declared to do will allow us to get a
better grip of any words that comes out of our mouth whether in anger or not.
In doing so, people around us will become comfortable whenever we are with them
knowing that we will not become a volcano ready to erupt at any time. We are
able to do it especially when we have God on our side. Keep praying that our
mouth will always speak blessings and not curses. And in this kind of prayer,
God always answer us.
Let’s talk again!
[3] New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible. New Living
Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust.
