Love in Marriage

Somebody said, “Marriage is a journey toward an unknown destination -- the discovery that people must share not only what they don't know about each other, but what they don't know about themselves.” I believe that this speaks so much truth for any married couple to dwell on and think about. Having been married for almost 20 years now, I can attest that discoveries is still happening and I’m convinced that a lifetime is not enough to do so. Thus, marriage needs to be treated as a triathlon that God Himself can only sustain and by the mutual love of the husband and wife. It is indeed a journey of endurance “until death do you part.”

What does the Scripture says to warrant a successful marriage life? Colossians 3:18-19 states explicitly what needs to be applied: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” What does this mean for the wife? Submission means respect as Ephesians 5:33b shows: “…let the wife see that she respects her husband.” The extent of this submission was also given“…as is fitting in the Lord.” On the other hand, the Scripture provided the specific role of the husband: “…love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” How would the husband love their wife? A level of measurement was specified in Ephesians 5:33a “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself…”

Chuck Swindoll in his book, “His Needs, Her Needs” gave important insights regarding the five major needs of women IN marriage, i.e., a) Affection; b) Conversation; c) Honesty and openness; d) Financial support; and e) Family commitment. Without forgetting regarding the five major needs of men IN marriage, i.e., a) Sexual fulfillment; b) Recreational companionship; c) An attractive spouse; d) Domestic support; e) Admiration. With these excellent observations, I would like to affirm that they undeniably speak so true to all husbands and wives. Thus, I would like to urge you to consider them carefully and to apply them seriously. I guarantee that you will never go wrong.

In addition, allow me to provide some important elements to remind all married couples and unmarried people how love in marriage must operate decisively:

1.     FOR THE UNMARRIED COUPLE: Love begins at courtship between a single man and a single woman as Proverbs 18:22 states, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Next, love is manifested at the wedding day between a man and a woman. Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

2.     FOR THE MARRIED COUPLE: Love must be cultivated during marriage relationship between a husband and the wife as Ecclesiastes 9:9 states, “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.” Next, love must become the bond that holds the marriage vows between a husband and the wife until death. Colossians 3:14 “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Lastly, love must produce the legacy of the husband and the wife to their children. Ephesians 5:25-33 gave an excellent comparison that husband must imitate to what Christ did for His church, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church…”

Let me end by saying that the key to a successful bond of love in marriage life is no other than the Lord Jesus Christ. It takes three that includes God to make a marriage long lasting and complete. Two people cannot do it but two people with the Lord Jesus can go a long way “until death do you part.”

Let’s talk again!

Experiencing New Life in Christ

Christianity is about experiencing anew life with Christ, thus, Christians must live with a pressing
priority to ensure that all aspects of our lives will be drawn from a right Christian status and then everything else follows rightfully. 2 Corinthians 5:14-17 clearly describes what it means to be a Christian: “For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” Here’s what we need to apply daily: our new life in Christ is an ongoing, daily process of examination, decision and confirmation of our relationship with Jesus, as Lord and Saviour.

First, a new life that is devoted to Christ is a life fully devoted to Christ by reciprocating His love for us. Thus, let us not say one thing and act another way by living according to the world’s standard, thus making our profession of faith worthless. Next, a new life that is experiencing renewal will act upon new set of godly principles, by new rules, with new ends, and in new company of people. Consequently, the life is created anew; the heart is not merely set right, but a new heart is given him. Overall, a Christian is the new workmanship of God, created in Christ Jesus to do God’s purposes. (Ephesians 2:10)

Somebody said, “A new day signifies a new beginning; don't sit there and let that opportunity pass you by. Accept each new day and make it better than yesterday. Because yesterday doesn't matter as much as today does. Focus on the day ahead and make it a day to remember not a day to regret.” What does the world needs to see in every Christian believer of Christ?  We need to exhibit three specific things: a) changed character and conduct towards our view of God; b) changed character and conduct towards our view of others; and c) changed character and conduct towards our view of ourselves. Billy Graham, a renowned evangelist explains it simply, “Being a Christian is more than just an instantaneous conversion - it is a daily process whereby you grow to be more and more like Christ.”  Here’s an interesting comparison that Ian L. Wilson shared in this story that clearly described about the new life in Christ: London businessman Lindsay Clegg told the story of a warehouse property he was selling. The building had been empty for months and needed repairs. Vandals had damaged the doors, smashed the windows, and strewn trash around the interior. As he showed a prospective buyer the property, Clegg took pains to say that he would replace the broken windows, bring in a crew to correct any structural damage, and clean out the garbage. "Forget about the repairs," the buyer said. "When I buy this place, I'm going to build something completely different. I don't want the building; I want the site."

After all is said and done, compared with the renovation God has in mind, our efforts to improve our own lives are as trivial as sweeping a warehouse slated for the wrecking ball. When we become God's, the old life is over (2 Cor. 5:17, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.). He makes all things new. All he wants is the site and the permission to build. The only question that remains is this: Would we allow God to have His way in our lives to do a rebuilding and not just a renovation? If we can do it ourselves, we will not need Him but because we need Him, it is very important to make an immediate decision that will change our life forever. It is definitely in our hands to do so and I encourage you to make it happen. Jesus made a decision to come for our sake, and in the same way, we need to make our decision to come to Him as well. Try it and you will never be the same again.

Let’s talk again!

SIGNIFICANT IMPACT OF THE CHURCH

Matthew 16:18b “…and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.” NIV

What makes any congregation impenetrable against the attack of its enemy within and without? I believe that it is by holding on to the promise that we will not be overcome by it. However, we must secure our grounds at all times and guard what has been entrusted to us with extra care and vigilance. In order to do this, the church must contend with sin that continuously assault God’s people through worldly attractions and distractions. Then it is followed by the constant barrage of temptation by Satan with his cunning strategy of stirring up the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. The main reason is this: to cause God’s people to fall away from their faith. It is a two-prong attack to weaken and demolish the believer’s faith.

Thus, turning the tide against Satan’s attack is through strengthening and maintaining a disciplined Christian life that includes a regular bible study, habitual prayer with fasting, fellowship with accountability amongst God’s people, and firm obedience to God’s Word. When these things are closely monitored and adhered to, significant impact is guaranteed in the spiritual realm. But if these things are disregarded, the results will be shipwrecked faith, carnal and worldly lifestyle manifesting inside the church. When this occurs, God’s people and His ministry are totally affected. Thus, significant impact of the church must begin in the spiritual realm first and foremost in pushing Satan’s wiles and plans in order to achieve the intended impact.

In view of this, let me encourage you that although many of our brethren are falling away in our midst; know that there are more believers that are holding on securely in keeping their faith life intact with utmost care and fear of God. There might be stumbling blocks along our way but let us choose to view them as stepping stones instead.  And having this kind of perspective will produce significant impact that we desire.  Therefore, let the church arise and take its place of victory over all the works of the enemy today, tomorrow and until Jesus comes. May we remain faithful until He comes!

Let’s talk again!

Standing at the Crossroads of Life

Nobody wants to be found standing in any crossroads. It is a place that many seem to detest. Why? Basically, crossroads represents choices that many are difficult to do in any situation. Most of the time, if not all the time, they would rather have someone choose for them or if they can help it, avoid making at all. However, it is not the case. One way or another, we will find ourselves standing in it in seeking the greater things ahead. William James, an American philosopher said, “When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice.” In addition, we must never forget that Jesus also stood at this crossroad of decision twice and made the right decision twice for our sake (Matthew 4:1-11, when tempted by Satan during His forty days fasting and Matthew 26:36-45, at the Garden of Gethsemane).

In my personal observation, one thing is certain, i.e., crossroads of life can produce the best decision anybody can make especially when God-factor is involved. Unfortunately, there are also decisions that cause many disastrous consequences. No one can ever predict what will happen next except to make it anyway. But one thing is clearly illustrated by the apostle Paul that will make the difference is by choosing to stand on the supernatural perspective when we make any decision, in this spiritual truth I can truly attest: “Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.” (1 Corinthians 2:12,14 ESV)

It is worthwhile to note that the greater things can also be relative based on the person involved: a piece of bread to a hungry child is a greater thing; a family reunited after many years of separation is a greater thing; a fiesta to some family is another greater thing; and there are other settings that can be considered great things also. Most importantly, to a genuine believer of Jesus that stands on the supernatural perspective, these are some of the things that can be considered greater things: to become a recipient of salvation through Jesus’ sacrifice at the cross of Calvary; a direct beneficiary of God’s forgiveness; and a witness of God’s miraculous healing.

Interestingly, this is a year that can be considered a crossroad for all of us to receive the greater things we all desire. The nagging question for many can be this: how can we be guaranteed to receive the greater things in 2014? Allow me to provide you with some principles to align ourselves properly to make the right choices and to become a recipient of the greater things of 2014: First, attain to discern carefully the right choices and to have an expectant heart for the greater things to come even at the worst of times. Romans 8:28 gave us an idea of how God operates in this matter: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Simply put, don’t prejudged things based on personal assessment until God says so. Secondly, go past beyond the circumstance that causes delays and look ahead to what’s more important, i.e., what God is up to with the situation at hand. Lastly, prepare to become a ready vessel for the greater things that are coming as 2 Timothy 2:21 stated, “Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.”

I believe that the words of Eleanor Roosevelt rings very true in regards to this matter: “One's philosophy is not best expressed in words. It is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.”

Let’s talk again!

What’s Ahead for 2014…

The past year was filled with many varied circumstances that may or may not be expected again in 2014. However, one thing is clear, what God has started in our lives will never be affected no matter what the situation. The Scripture is clear that new things from God comes every morning, as stated in Lamentation 3:22 “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Thus keep in mind that God’s new things are daily not annually and this is what makes our Christian life exciting, as years come and go.

No copyright infringement intended

With God on our side, we can be assured that our journey will be filled with guaranteed success and overwhelming victory. But the key to attaining this status is to be consistently observing with God’s view on the horizon. I believe that He intends to release many answers to His promises that we all hold onto. Never let go of this thought even when things around us are rough and tough. Keep moving ahead towards the greater things of God.

I firmly believe that 2014 bears many important milestones for every God’s people, including JRAM churches and congregations, that are on the verge of fulfillment. The apostle James provided specific instructions, as to how to live our life with this confidence: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1:5-8).

What should we do to ensure that 2014 would be fortified to become an exciting year? Then, let’s take heed to what the book of Proverbs says: “Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established. The LORD has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble” (Proverbs 16:3-4). Decide to do this as the first act and priority of every believer in Christ. Most importantly, God honors those that honor Him. Therefore, let us aim to honor God in 2014 and He will honor all our work, labor, and everything that concerns us. I’m excited, are you?! that concerns us. I’m excited, are you?